The Positive and The Negative




-Negative-
My lie is screwed.
I used to be rich and now look where I am.
Amk is so noisy;dirty;so not safe.
Ah Blue is getting old every day and I feared that the day his time is up is near.
Tracy cannot stop self mutilating. And its my fault because I don't have time for him like how I used to be.
Hazel is so poor thing. I don't have the money to bring her to the vets or groomers and give her a good life.
I pity my mum and dad. Having to work so hard everyday and to curb my brother's and sister's and my own spending.
And my part time job sucks because my pay is not enough for my spending. And I have to spend my parent's hard earn money.
My legs' joint is getting worst. It hurts every single time after long exercises.
I don't have the money and guts to go get an X-ray
I don't have money to get braces.
I am not pretty.
I suck.
My school life suck.
I am in a school I dislike.
I am in a course that I only have mild interest in.
My poly's cert is deemed useless.
Which means I wasted 3 years to get something that is useless.
My love life sucks too.
I let other things hurt my relationship.
And break things that can be saved.
And then regret and got angry at myself or letting things go.
My boyfriend is there and not there.
And sometimes I doubt our relationship.
Which will makes me angry at myself again because I agree to what people say.
And I am suppose to trust him completely.
Other than him,
My friend cycle is small.
I only have a few close friends.
And rely on them so much and to the extend that if I didn't see any of them in 2 days I will cry.
I cannot bring myself to accept other people's good intention to become my best friends.
Because 13 Alliance is already rooted to heart and occupy every space and I couln't let anyone in anymore.
And therefore I hurt people, ignore people, shun them, and regretted.
Because I love being around people.
But I am doing the opposite.


-The Positive-
My life is blessed.
Although I am poor but I am happy.
Amk is not an ideal place to stay but its near school and town!
Ah Blue is getting sweeter everyday and living his best before his time is up. I hope he live a life with no regrets...
Tracy is trying to learn new words. And hearing him mumbling after me is so heart-warming.
Hazel is so understanding. Even though I didn't manage to give her a good life. She still loves me anyway. This is what I call true loyalty.
I love my parents. They work so hard to make us happy and smile everyday.
My dad is really a hero, he taught me that as long as I am happy and live a life with no regrets,
everything can be solved. And family is important.
Although my part time job provides me with so little money, but my students rocks.
I am getting attached to them and I really hope they can excel.
My legs are so long and fair. My poly friends always tell me that these legs are what people always wanted.
Chinese medicine seems to have a way of curing my joints. I will ask them about it one day.
I know I dislike my school.
But my poly friends are what make me go on.
My course is about environment and related to what I am interested in!
It can even get me in a job sector that allow me to be close to nature.
And even though I can't get close to nature always, my friends will always bring me near nature.
I am so blessed that I have adventurous friends.
I am not pretty, but its ok.
My boyfriend still loves me despite this.
And he is always trying his best to please me, to make me happy.
Even though sometimes he is not there, but when he IS there its like I am in heavens.
And that surpress the time when I am alone.
Who cares if my friend circle is small?
13 Alliance itself is enough to keep me busy!
And more to come..
Genevieve, Liying, Bing long, James, Clara, Janice, Wan, Yuliana, Shermin...
Everyone is wonderful.
And not forgetting my primary school friends!
Sheena, Bee Shuan, Cai ying, Audrey, Jin yong, Zi neng, Jin Xiong and others that I didn't mention because the list will go on and on and on..
I love every single one of them.




The Negative is how I feel every morning, where I sign and laugh at how pathetic my life is.
The Positive is how I feel every night before I fall into endless dreams, where I smile and hope that these happiness will last for my entire lifetime.

Blue Blue say CLICK ME!